Monday, May 4, 2009

Monday Memory: Forked Fiasco

Sorry! I completely forgot to schedule a Monday Memory for last week so here's a longer-than-usual series of related posts titled "Forked Fiasco" to make up for it. Lucky you. Been kinda slackin' on the blogging lately, but after Elder Bednar's CES fireside last night warning the youth of today to beware of spending too much time in a virtual existence & neglecting reality I feel righteously justified in not posting for over a week... I've been too busy livin' real life! ;)

Friday, September 15, 2006 6:23AM
"Printing Problems"
Current mood: thirsty
I was desperately trying to print something this morning, but my printer kept loading the paper super-crookedly. It would only grab it from the right side. I thought that this was my punishment for buying such a cheap printer: it had already broken, barely a month into school. I opened it, examined it from all angles, tipped it on its side, and out fell a full-sized silver fork from my paper feed area. How'd that get there?
Printer fixed!
Monday, October 2, 2006 7:04AM
"I hate my printer"
Current mood: frustrated
My printer is a super crappy piece of junk. It keeps loading paper super-crookedly. All searches for metal eating utensils have come up negative.
It is actually so crappy because it only has a wheel on one side to suck the paper in to feed the printer--the way it was manufactured, not my fault (I didn't break it or anything). Basically this means that is only sucks in the right side of the page for printing.
I'm upset that if they could have taken the time to add the other wheel, I wouldn't have this much frustration. Seriously, I'm totally willing to pay $45 or even $50 for my next printer vs. the $40 for this one, as long as it has that stupid extra wheel.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006 11:20PM
"Revenge of the Printer Problems... 3"
Current mood: aggravated
My printer has decided to be a piece of worthless junk for the past couple of weeks. It refused to print ANYTHING even remotely well. It's favorite hobby was "start printing 1/2 way down the page and out of the margins, super-crookedly when Paige is in a hurry for class." I was clearing off my desk tonight when I had a little deja vu. I tipped my printer on its side to see if anything had fallen into the paper feed area (again) and lo, out fell another full-sized silver fork (again). I really need to stop setting dishes on my printer. Hopefully that was the reason for my printer's uber-crappiness. [side note from 2009: it was]
Monday, November 27, 2006 4:31PM
"Lost Keys"
Current mood: blah
I've been frantically searching my dorm room for my keys for the past 20 min. It shouldn't have been this hard to find them, especially considering that my room and desk are actually in immaculate condition (for once). I was checking behind my printer when I accidentally hit the "copy" button on it. as the paper was being sucked into the printer, I noticed it went in crooked: a characteristic of my previous fork-in-printer adventures. I peered inside the paper feed slot and lo: my keys.
Next week's Monday Memory: "Misc. Musings"


TexasTwinsTwice said...

haha!!! That is CRAZY!....yet very humorous. =)

Nathan and Aubrey said...

I think I recall reading this before, and yet it is even funnier the second time! Ü

Allison said...


Colton said...

This was hilarious! Your printer sounds like something from a One Saturday Morning episode. Its rare that the story has such a lovely end. Usually people don't figure out where their forks and keys go.